Over the past few years, I had been watching my father's soul begin to evaporate. Over this course of time, I witnessed him becoming a shell of himself; a vessel which yearned to 'go home' (as he would often say towards the end of his voyage, packing his bags and staring out the window). He accurately prophesied his own demise despite our disbelief in his word. My dad never lied, though, and he seemed to know better than anyone how the story would end.

Bearing witness to your one of your heroes dissolving and setting sail into an apocalyptic, if not somewhat, blissful horizon is something we often suppress. But, when the grim reaper swings the sickle at those close to us, the cognizance of our very own mortality is suddenly cast into a light with a glow that illuminates brighter over time. If it happened to them, it will happen to us.

I often need very good reasons to become musically inspired through positive or negative events. For that reason, I've been letting this music slowly exist and evolve, as that helped to channel my grief. I truly believed that seeing my dad lose his battles over a long duration would make it easier to let go. But it doesn’t work out like that, does it? I am beyond thankful that he let me borrow a few of his final hours to be alone with him. I’m not sure if you could hear me, dad, but I was there, and I got to let you know how much I appreciated you. Sorry that I showed weakness by being so emotional in your last moments. I guess that you could say that I really wasn’t prepared for the outcome.

When I listen to this music, which I did for a very long time before acting on it (for years, honestly), I reminisce of my memories with my dad and all the valuable advice given in the form of clever quips which enabled me to make sense of the world around myself. You did well, you fought hard, and it's now time to finally embark on that long walk home. Miss you, dad.


Peace.

//tonepoet//